This is a bizarre
story from the US state of Connecticut which appeared on CNN today but deserves
far wider distribution.
The original account titled ‘Surrogate offered $10,000 to abort
baby’ runs to 3,500 words so I have cut it to 1,400 (see here). The story has now gone viral (see here).
I run the story here without comment, but it demonstrates just how complicated things can become
in a world where IVF, commercial surrogacy and abortion come together.
It is poignant that it has come to light the day before submissions close for Fiona Bruce’s parliamentary inquiry on abortion for disability.
It is poignant that it has come to light the day before submissions close for Fiona Bruce’s parliamentary inquiry on abortion for disability.
Crystal Kelley, 29, who already had two daughters
of her own, hired herself as a commercial surrogate for $22,000 to carry a couple’s
two frozen embryos. The couple already had three children and desperately
wanted a fourth child, but the mother couldn't conceive.
One embryo survived after implantation but the five
month ultrasound scan showed the baby had a cleft lip and palate, a cyst in the
brain, and a complex heart abnormality.
The doctors explained the baby would need several
heart surgeries after she was born. She would likely survive the pregnancy, but
had only about a 25% chance of having a ‘normal life’. The commissioning
parents wanted an abortion but Kelley felt that all efforts should be made to
'give the baby a chance'.
The parents tried to convince Kelley to change her
mind and said that they had pursued surrogacy in order to minimize the risk of
pain and suffering for their baby.
The two sides were at a standoff. The doctor and
the genetic counselor offered an amniocentesis in the hope that by analysing
the baby's genes, they could learn more about her condition.
Kelley was amenable but the parents felt that the
information gained from this testing would not influence their decision to opt
for abortion. They were very upset and said that Kelley ‘should try to be
God-like and have mercy on the child and let her go’.
Kelly told them that they had chosen her to carry
and protect this child, and that was exactly what she was going to do. She told
them it wasn't their decision to play God and walked out of the room.
She then received an e-mail from Rita Kron at
Surrogacy International telling her that if she chose to have the baby, the
couple wouldn't agree to be the baby's legal parents.
Kelley didn't want to be the baby's mother - she'd
gotten pregnant to help another family, not to have a child of her own. She was
then told that the parents would pay her $10,000 to have an abortion.
The offer tested Kelley's convictions. She'd always
been against abortion for religious and moral reasons, but she really needed
the money.
Kron took Kelley to lunch. Kelley said, ’She
painted a picture of a life of a person who had a child with special needs. She
told me how it would be painful, it would be taxing, it would be strenuous and
stressful. She told me it would financially drain me, that my children would
suffer because of it.’
Kelley made a counter offer. ‘In a weak moment I
asked her to tell them that for $15,000 I would consider going forward with the
termination’, she said. But as soon as she got in the car to go home, she
regretted it.
Kron let Kelley know the parents had refused to pay
$15,000 but by that point, it didn't matter to Kelley -- she'd decided against
abortion no matter what.
On 22 February 22 2012, six days after the fateful
ultrasound, she received a letter from the parents’ lawyer saying that she was
obligated to terminate the pregnancy immediately. The lawyer informed her that
she had signed a contract, agreeing to
‘abortion in case of severe fetal abnormality’ and was in breach of contract.
If she did not abort, the parents would sue her to
get back the fees they'd already paid her -- around $8,000 -- plus all of the
medical expenses and legal fees.
Kelley found a lawyer who was willing to take on
her case free of charge who explained
that no matter what the contract said, she couldn't be forced to have an
abortion. She wrote back to the couple’s lawyer saying that ‘abortion is off
the table and will not be considered under any circumstance’.
The couple’s lawyer then phoned telling Kelley’s
lawyer that the parents had changed their minds and now planned to exercise
their legal right to take custody of their child -- and then immediately after
birth surrender her to the state of Connecticut. She would become a ward of the
state.
Kelley couldn't stand the thought of the baby in
foster care but was advised by her lawyer that under Connecticut law she'd
likely lose in court.
Her only option was to move to another state where,
under a different law, where she and not the genetic parents, would be considered
the baby's legal mother. That place was 700 miles away.
On 11 April 11, in her seventh month of pregnancy,
Kelley and her daughters left for Michigan.
She chose Michigan because of its laws, but also
its medicine: she'd been doing research on the baby's condition, and concluded
CS Mott Children's Hospital at the University of Michigan had one of the best pediatric
heart programs in the country.
When she arrived, she found an inexpensive summer
sublet from a University of Michigan student and applied for Michigan Medicaid.
She made appointments with a high-risk pregnancy specialist and a pediatric
cardiologist.
There was one thing left to do: She had to decide
if she would keep the baby. She was a single mother with no job and no
permanent place to live, but she'd grown emotionally attached to the life
inside her, and some days she wanted to keep her. She finally decided she
wasn't the right person to raise the child but through a support group found a
couple who were willing to adopt.
But about one month before the baby's due date, the
original parents filed in Connecticut Superior Court for parental rights. They
wanted to be the legal parents with their names on the birth certificate. The
legal papers included a stunning admission: the wife was not the baby's genetic
mother -- they'd used an anonymous egg donor.
The case had now become very complicated. The
lawyers were still negotiating about who would be the legal parents when the
baby was born on 25 June. Three weeks
later, the two sides struck a deal: The father agreed to give up his paternal
rights as long as he and his wife could keep in touch with the adoptive family
about the baby's health. Since then, the
couple has visited the baby and the father has held her.
The baby's medical problems turned out to be much
more extensive than the ultrasound at Hartford Hospital had revealed. She had a
birth defect called holoprosencephaly, where the brain fails to completely divide
into distinct hemispheres. She also has heterotaxy, which means many of her internal organs, such as
her liver and stomach, are in the wrong places. She has at least two spleens,
neither of which works properly. Her head is very small, her right ear is misshapen,
she has a cleft lip and a cleft palate, and a long list of complex heart
defects, among other problems.
‘Baby S’, now nine months old, has a long road in
front of her. She's already had one open-heart surgery and surgery on her
intestines, and in the next year she'll need one or two more cardiac surgeries
in addition to procedures to repair her cleft lip and palate. Later in
childhood she'll need surgeries on her jaw and ear and more heart surgeries.
Her adoptive parents, who asked to remain anonymous
to protect their family's privacy, know Baby S might not be with them for long. The cardiac
procedures she needs are risky, and her heterotaxy and holoprosencephaly,
though mild, carry a risk of early death, according to doctors. If Baby S. does
survive, there's a 50% chance she won't be able to walk, talk or use her hands
normally.
Her adoptive parents know some people look at her
and see a baby born to suffer -- a baby who's suffering could have been
prevented with an abortion. But that's not the way they see it. They see a
little girl who's defied the odds, who constantly surprises her doctors with
what she's able to do -- make eye contact, giggle at her siblings, grab toys,
eye strangers warily.
Kelley says, ‘I can't tell you how many people told
me that I was bad, that I was wrong, that I should go have an abortion, that I
would be damned to hell.’
But in the end, she feels like she did the right
thing. ‘No one else was feeling this pregnancy the way that I was. No one else
could feel her kicking and moving around inside,’ she said. ‘I knew from the
beginning that this little girl had an amazing fighting spirit, and whatever
challenges were thrown at her, she would go at them with every ounce of spirit
that she could possibly have. No matter what anybody told me, I became her mother.’
Bravo et encore bravo pour cette petite fille
ReplyDeletedeeply moved. deeply saddened. deeply grateful for a 'simple' woman who chose a hard but right path despite money, threats, court cases etc. what a strange world we live in. Grateful to God that He still uses the small to shame to 'great'
ReplyDeleteI pray life in abundance to the full till it overflows over this child. I declare that she will live and not die, she will live a full healthy healed life, being an inspiration to all. Proving that there is nothing too hard for God, in Jesus Name. Amen
ReplyDeleteKelley says, ‘I can't tell you how many people told me that I was bad, that I was wrong, that I should go have an abortion, that I would be damned to hell.’
ReplyDeleteNo doubt these people will call themslves "pro-choice" and will accuse pro-lifer of being judgmental, and of putting guilt on people "who haven't done anything wrong."
The lie is being exposed for what it is: these people are not pro-choice: simply pro-abortion.
Thank you for your witness Kelly. You are a brave woman. May God forgive you for the sin of IVF and reward you abundantly for choosing life in a culture of death.
I just read this story. It takes tears in my eyes. God bless her. Most of the women have to face lot of troubles when they conceive a child. I also have some issues.
ReplyDeleteSurrogacy in India
Even though the mother agreed to give the child to the intended parents the situation of the child leading her to fight for the wellness of the baby. Mother's love won't be purchasable in this situation because she carried the child for 9 months and made a strong relationship with the baby, of course not related genetically.
ReplyDelete